Time Cannon

2011-10-29T17:17:00.001-05:00

Cant Get Rid of Me That Easily
local procrastinating blogger

This.

2011-03-13T14:26:00.002-05:00

"Where'd He Go?"
Local Missing Blogger

"For disappearing acts, it's hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work."
Doug Larson

Whoa

2010-11-22T13:54:00.001-06:00

Whoa (in my best Bill and Ted era Keanu) , WHOA!

2009-09-05T14:06:00.001-05:00

Thats No Moon....

"Local Pigskin Prognosticator"

Dating Tip #238: Find A Computer Demo Center

2009-08-24T22:11:00.000-05:00

Dating Tip #238: Find A Computer Demo Center: "

The Atari 800, with its 1.79MHZ 8 bit processor, was manufactured from 1979 until 1982 when the 1200XL took its place. Of course, the upgraded machine was considered a 'bomb,' says the Atari Museum, because it didn't have any expansion slots, an external bus connector and featured only 2 of the 4 controller ports users got with the 800 — which of course makes the 800 the ultimate console for double dates.

I'm sure Leonardo DiCaprio will cover this in the Atari movie.

[image via Fiction Romance via Retrospace Zeta via .tiff]

Previously:

101 Classic Computer Ads

One shot: Karsten Schmidt's Atari 800XL/XE scrapbook

Bit by bit: Atari Museum releases Atari 7800 Dig Dug, Centipede ...

T-Shirt: Exploded Atari 2600

One shot: A Clockwork Orange, the Atari 2600 horrorshow

Pet Store

2009-08-14T21:44:00.002-05:00

Another Fine BaconFind ™
Via Glennz

Once you’ve chosen your man-eating predator, they’ll scoop it up and put it in a bag so you can take it home. Please clean it’s tank regularly and do not over feed. This has been a high scorer since going up for voting so was time to print! BUY NOW

Putting On The Monkey Goggles

2009-08-12T20:36:00.004-05:00

Another Fine BaconFind ™
Via the GREAT Secret Fun Spot Blog

Hip Nip- A flask shaped like a dapper whino,
as featured in my Monkey Goggles article.

The geniuses behind Seattle's Archie McPhee Novelties just kicked off a rip-roaring new web site called Monkey Goggles. Their mission...

'...to present the world as we see it and ignore the things we find boring... we write about the parts of the world that society forgot or does not have the nerve to ponder.'

Furthermore, I would like to mirthfully announce that I will be a regular contributor to Monkey Goggles! Please accept this invitation to check out my very first article, 'Selections from the 1959 PICO novelty catalog.'

test

2009-06-18T18:01:00.001-05:00

test

ACDC.com

2009-06-18T18:00:00.000-05:00

ACDC.com

Testing MyShared to Blogger....

2009-06-18T17:28:00.002-05:00

"Theres That Word Again, Heavy...."
Local Crazy Town Scientist

Keep your eyes open here for imminent breaking news....

2008-08-24T08:18:00.004-05:00

"What are words for?..."
Some Missing Person

So there is a cool little web aplet that will take any text you input and create a "word cloud." This is a classic, "why? Because it's freaking cool!" situations. So I cut and pasted every blog entry from The Cannon, and below is the result. You can make your own at Wordle

2008-08-18T08:43:00.003-05:00

"To me, Rock N Rolll Aint No Riddle Man, To Me, It Makes Good Good Sense..."
Local Razor Blade Gargler

Eight long years of waiting and wondering if they were gonna do it one more time, will end on October 18th. The new single crackles the airwaves (sorry Rush) this week. I can't tell you how excited I am. Rock on Bishes!!!!!

2008-07-31T20:29:00.005-05:00

Why Does This Crack Me Up???
Mystified Local Blogger

Yet another of those images that is offensive, politically incorrect and most of all funny as hell. I apologize in advance. Wonder if the bitch stole his fish?

2008-07-30T18:17:00.003-05:00

No matter how slow the film, Spirit always stands still long enough for the photographer It has chosen.
Minor White, Photographer

It takes a quality site to get added to my Google Reader subscription list. And The Big Picture takes quality to a new level. The Big Picture, is a blog compiled semi-regularly by Alan Taylor. It focuses on current events and provides OUTSTANDING high quality images for each story. With as much information that is available on the internet, it's surprising that something like this hasn't already been done. But now it has, and it's done WELL. Think of it as a news story with pictures provided by National Geographic or Life Magazine. Simple and stunning. I check the feed reader constantly hoping to see the new Big Picture update. Go. Now. Enjoy it!

The Big Picture

2008-07-27T13:48:00.005-05:00

The First In A Series
local seller of wares

If you haven't jumped on the RSS bandwagon, you really need to investigate it. RSS is basically a way to subscribe to websites or your favorite blog. Instead of navigating the web using your traditional bookmarks, you read everything now through your RSS reader. There are regular clients that you install on your machine, but the most popular are the web based feed readers. I can't recommend Google Reader enough. This one tool has changed the way I interact with the 'Net. In a distant second place is bloglines. The key to the web feed reader, is the fact that you can use it on any machine with a internet connection. Work, home, kiosk, all your settings and "currently read" items will propagate accordingly.

So, you take your favorite websites, blogs, etc and add them to your reader. Anytime content is added to any of the sites you subscribe to, the "Items unread" amount will increase accordingly. Now you have all the places that you hit on the internet in one single location. I can't express how cool RSS is. It's something that you just have to try for your self. So, go check it out, you'll wonder how you got along with out it.

Now, Special Extra Bonus Content!

A really neat (and under-used, in my opinion) feature, is Google Readers "share" option. Each "article" in Google Reader has a row of options at the bottom. One of thes options is "Share". When you select this option, it will send that article to a prepared "Shared Items" page. A really slick looking webpage of your shared items. Cool! Below is my shared content, check it out, bet you will find at least SOMETHING you like.

My Google Reader Shared Item Page
http://www.google.com/reader/shared/16018686749786887524

2008-07-27T12:42:00.003-05:00

"The One About Turning Into A Link Blog"
local tech guru

When I started Time Cannon I had lofty goals of telling interesting stories, hopefully on a daily basis. I didn't want boring entries of an uneventful workdays or lists of minutia that goes on in my daily life. I think I posted some interesting stories, but the daily thing just didn't happen. Another thing I didn't want this to be, is a link-dump. You know, one of those blogs that has a link to that new Neiman Marcus cookie recipe. It seems those type blogs had the same content, no individuality at all.

Well Ive had a revelation, my brother the other day, after sending him a cool link, asked me where I come up with this cool stuff. After thinking about it for awhile, I've come to the conclusion that I spend waaay too much time online. It could almost be classified as addiction I assume. Being online all the time, I usually have seen it before. If I haven't, and it's cool, people like my brother, that don't live on the internet, probably haven't and might just think it's cool too.

Where is all of this going? Well, Ive decided to start posting cool "things" on the blog. I wanted this blog to be updated regularly, but the content just wasn't there. So, you should see, fairly regular updates now with cool links. And maybe in between some of those, a few of those "stories" that I originally started this blog to share. We'll see how it works. Let's hope we don't get classified as "just another link-blog"...

2008-05-03T19:55:00.002-05:00

This Thing On?
Local Hibernating Blogger

Time to get this goin again. How's that for a threat....

2007-10-19T13:43:00.000-05:00

You are connected to Castle Rock BBS (9600bps)
Local Telix User

Having always been a technology fan, especially into computers, you learn something early on. The Early Adopter Tax. If it’s new, hot, and you want it now, you will pay double for it compared to the price that it will surely sink to within six months. It’s always fun (and somewhat painful) to go back and see what you paid for early gadgets. I have blogged about this before, having obtained my first computer from my dad who “traded” a complete central air and heat system for our Atari Setup. At the time, we came out REAL good on that deal. The early Atari’s were EXPENSIVE. Looking back, it was insane.

In the late 80’s early 90’s, before the proliferation of Teh Interwebs, BBS’ were all the rage. I ran a fairly successful single line BBS called Castle Rock for almost 3 years. The early days of online computing, speeds were not gauged on your CPU , but your modem was the bottle neck. For a long time, we were stuck at 300 baud, which was insanely slow. Then the jump to 1200 baud. After that there was a lull, but rumors were rampant about the next new thing in technology. The 9600 baud modem. 9600 Baud. You could surely download a porn jpg in under an HOUR with that thing. I wanted to be one of the first in Dallas to offer a BBS with a 9600 baud connection. To my knowledge there were only 2 that beat me. The online local power house User To User (9 phone lines!) and Gary Grosse’s Chrysalis. It was such a awesome sight to not only see your BBS in the Texas Computing BBS list, but also noting the asterisk in the legend, stating it supported 9600 baud!! Outstanding.

Now back to the early adopter tax. The only place back then to get bleeding edge technology locally was a place called Soft Warehouse, a huge computer store that had everything that you could imagine (they later changed their name to CompUSA, you may have heard of them). The only 9600 baud they carried at the time was the ATI (yes THAT ATI) 9600 external. I had a heart attack when I inquired about the price. But since the goal was to be one of the first in Dallas to offer the service, price was no issue. Below is the original receipt. It’s fascinating to me in two ways, one the outrageous price and two, it’s an original hand written receipt from CompUSA’s fledgling store.

A funny postscript to the story is something that I didn’t take into consideration, was the fact that to take advantage of the MASSIVE speed I had to offer, the other users had to have a expensive 9600 baud modem. It was a while before I saw the glorious “CONNECTED AT 9600 BAUD…”

Did I say I was one of the first???

2007-06-15T15:48:00.000-05:00

"We're the middle children of history.... no purpose or place. We have no Great War, no Great Depression. Our great war is a spiritual war. Our great depression is our lives"
Tyler Durden, Fight Club.

I find it funny, as I scroll back at some of the older entries in this blog, the things that I wrote. I actually thought that talking about my kidney stones and rectal exams would be interesting? Wow. Well, I’ve reached another crossroad in life. I had a physical recently and the accompanying blood test indicated that I had abnormally low testosterone. They would need another blood test in a week to verify those findings. A week passes and this blood test says that I DON’T have low testosterone. Huh? According to the Dr., it’s cyclical, and we tested when the hormones were at their lowest. So, let’s grab some more blood in two weeks. The two weeks were up yesterday and I had blood taken again. While talking with the Dr., as I had the last 5 or 6 previous visits, I told him about my feelings of malaise. I have no motivation to do anything. Bills are late and I don’t care. Not eating right, and can’t sleep a full night to save my life. He told me, that regardless of the results of this last blood test, he’s come to the conclusion that I’m clinically depressed. DEPRESSED. Who’d thunk it? There is such a stigma with that word. Even I have always thought people that were depressed just need to “put their big boy panties on and get in the game”. Look at me now, 40 years old and suffering from what the Dr calls, mild depression. Lexapro. Six Weeks. Then we’ll “see how you feel”. Not being satisfied with his diagnoses I did some research on Teh Intertubes, and Ill be, I surely fit the diagnoses. I guess I’m an example of what happens when you narrow mindedly assume that some people just can’t deal with life so they need to hide behind a pill. At least in my case, it’s a chemical imbalance. If you were curious, that was sarcasm.

2007-06-14T12:33:00.000-05:00

"Ignorance and inconsideration are the two great causes of the ruin of mankind."
John Tillotson

Everyone has their stories of people’s complete lack of consideration these days. The fact the our Mass begins with the request that you please “take the time to silence all pagers and cell phones”, says all you need to know about the state of our society. The fact that there is one nimrod that doesn’t heed this request EVERY Sunday makes it worse. And yes, I do grasp the irony of cussing to myself in church when the inevitable, lame ringtone breaks the silence. I’m not perfect. Sue me.

Anyway, I was coming home yesterday from work minding my own business listening to the new Dean Koontz audio book The Good Guy, when out of the blue the guy in the lane next to me turns into my lane so quickly (and thoughtfully applying his turn signal during this maneuver) that I had to slam on the brakes, as the boat he was pulling narrowly avoid the bumper of my car. I of course, honked and was in disbelief. As I passed him in the lane that he had just vacated, I looked over, and the dude FLIPPED ME OFF!!! It took me by such surprise that I actually laughed at him. How dare I honk when he basically runs me off the road. WHAT was I thinking? Amazing. As I went further down the road, I watched him turn into the Church parking lot, the same church that I attend each week. Curious, I took the next turn and entered the church parking lot by the gym and came around the back way. Just in time to see Flip Off Guy, heading up the steps and into the Church Sanctuary. I had to smile to myself. I bet his cell phone was on “loud”.

2007-03-05T00:47:00.000-06:00

Odd Thomas
by Dean Kootz (An AudioBook Review)

I have been very lax in blogging as of late and REALLY lax in the Audiobook reviews. One of the main reasons that I had started this blog was for a place to post reviews of Audio Books that I have completed. I’m going to try to remedy that as i finish them now.

I listen to my Audiobooks exclusively in the car. Previously I would load a book on the IPod and use it. For my birthday last year, I got the CDA-9856 CD Receiver. This unit has a really nice interface with the IPod. Not just an auxiliary jack, but a cable that allows control and view of the Ipod interface through the acual head unit. The CD also will play MP3’s. So, now when I listen to a book, I will burn it (in mp3 format ) to a CD. Pop the CD in the car. This may seem to be the hard wa to do it, but it works really well. When the Audiobook resides on the IPod, there is no way to “bookmark” the track. Sure you power off the Ipod, it picks back where you left off. Before, I would lose my last little bit of charge at the worst moment, therefore losing my place in the book. Now, with the Audibook on CD, switching inputs marks my spot. There are days when I’m coming home after a hard day’s work and desperately need a volt of Three Cord power rock to get me home. In this case, I just change the aux to the IPod. When Im ready to get back to the book, aux it back to the CD, where it picks up where it left off. The only drawback to this would be if the wife got in the car and I had left it on CD.

On to the review. I have always enjoyed Dean Koontz. He seems to always have a positive message. Odd Thomas is the first in a series (three currently). The main character, Odd (Yes that’s his first name) Thomas, is a 20 year old short order cook, in the fictional town of Pico Mundo. Odd has a gift, and to focus on this gift, Odd’s goal in life is to simplify. He doesn’t own a car, has a low paying job, and lives in an efficiency apartment above a garage. He lives like this because he wants to be able to focus on his “gift”. Odd sees dead people. He can communicate with dead people (though, they cannot speak to him). Odd’s lot in life, is to help these restless spirits find peace so they can leave this world and go on to the next life. Sounds exactly like The Sixth Sense doesn’t it? And I think that’s a major reason that I can recommend this book. When the plot was being fleshed out, I was ready for a cardboard cutout rip-off. The un-original plot was made spellbinding with his pacing and a GREAT cast of characters.

Things pick up when Odd starts seeing an usually large number of “Bodachs” (a supernatural harbinger of bad things) roaming the streets and around various spots about town. Odd realizes that something big is about to happen in the little desert town of Pico Mundo. The greater part of the book finds Odd racing against the clock to find out exactly what is going to happen, and to try to save as many people as he can before the deadly incident takes place. As the book reaches its crescendo, I will admit the ending truly surprised me. I should have seen it coming, but alas I was too involved with the characters.

As always the key to a great Audiobook is the actual performance. David Aaron Baker (a reader that I had not heard up to this point) conveyed the character well, subtly naïve, but always seemingly in control with purpose. The best thing that I can say about this Audiobook, is the fact that, on multiple occasions, I found myself sitting in the driveway, or the parking lot at work for “5 more minutes!” because I had to know what was going to happen next. I highly recommend it.

2007-03-03T00:41:00.000-06:00

"..for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself."
Jessamyn West

I have raised a retard. I swear to God, the things he says and thought processes that flow through his brain never cease to amaze me. Early on in this Blog, I promoted the idea of trying to give your kids more than you had. Don't force them to work during their early high school years and instead let them enjoy their summers unencumbered. As that dickhead Dr. Phil says, "how'd that work out for ya?"

I have ended up with an unappreciative individual that is not even remotely ready for the real world. What a slap in the face that will be, standing on his own two feet. I know, I know, I reap what I sow, but that what blog is for isn't it, anonymous venting??

His outrageously expensive school, has a relatively relaxed celphone policy. You can have you phone, and actually use it in between classes. Just don't use it during class. Kinna obvious don't you think? He comes home last evening, stating that his "idiot history teacher" confiscated is celphone. The idiot also told him, since it was the second time he had got caught, he could only get the phone back by having one of his parents personally come up to the school to obtain it. He went on to say "I told him, that is MY personal property and he HAS to give it back to me at the end of class" The teacher did not. "Can you BELIEVE that he did that?" he went on to state.

Dumbfounded, I asked him SLOWLY, "so let me get this straight, this IDIOT, took your celphone (the same celphone that you don't pay a FUCKING penny for) away from you because you're STUPID enough to knowingly break the rules and use it during class not once but TWICE??!! Do you have any clue how how ridiculous the statement you just made is?"

The blank stare and glassy eyed pause told me all I needed to know.

2007-03-02T15:48:00.000-06:00

"I Dont Have Pet Peeves, I Have Whole Kennels Of Irritation"
Unknown

Random Pet Peeve.

I'm not sure why I let little things bother me when there is so much out in the world that I really should be worrying about. But alas, here is a first in a series of Random Pet Peeves (TM):

There is a girl here at work that has the whole trailer park image down. She litterally lives in a trailer and reinforces any and all associated stereotypes therein. She nice enough, but dumb as a rock.

I overheard her talking about her evening with the following statement, "I sat in front of the computer all nite and played Solitary"

Its SOLITAIRE, not solitary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Told you it was petty, but I hate when people say that. Sue me.

2007-02-18T00:03:00.000-06:00

"Mmmdrugs"

It would take a monumental event to interrupt my latest hiatus in this great tome. But some " fffooofd'mier!!!!" was all it took....

2006-12-24T10:32:00.000-06:00

Merry Christmas

5 Months between posts. This is a great example of an almost abandoned blog. Maybe Ill make one of my new years resolutions to post to the blog more often. Then again...

Merry Christmas everyone.....

2006-07-31T12:28:00.000-05:00

Things are going to start happening for me now!!
Navin R. Johnson

The fine folks over at boing boing had and article about black light posters. The image for the article was a picture of the infamous "hippie Mickey Mouse". The same hippie Mickey Mouse proudly displayed by me in my second grade elementary group picture. I emailed Mark the picture thinking he would get a kick out it. He did and he blogged it here. Im featured in a boingboing article. Lookout Star Wars Kid, Im the "Hippie Mickey Mouse" Guy!

2006-02-06T09:47:00.000-06:00

"There is more stupidity that hydrogen in the Universe"
Frank Zappa

You know when you hear those stories, the ones that you can't believe that people are THAT stupid. You think, wow, that cant be topped? But it always does. Stupidity seems to know no bounds.

I saw a snippet of the local news last night (something that I consciously try to avoid.). One of the suburbs is following suite with a few other cities and installing cameras at redlights to try and stem the tide of moron red light runners. Then the story shifted to the "does this invade your privacy" slant. They then interviewed a parade of slack jawed yokels (apologies to Matt Groening) who went on about "the violation of constitutional rights. Then came the topper. An overweight lady in her mid thirties actually made this statement:

"Sometimes I run late for work and need to run a red lite or two so I'm not late"

Really. That was said. I'm not exaggerating. Please by all means, take a chance of killing a family of five because you can't drag your fat ass outta bed on time. Wouldn't wanna invade your privacy now would we.

Amazing. But the sad thing, is, it will be topped.

2006-02-03T10:47:00.000-06:00

"Mickey Mouse is, to me, a symbol of independence."
Walt Disney

Well the guesses came flooding in. Neither were right. I'm in the first row, first kid from the left. Yes, me, with the "hippie Mickey Mouse flashing the peace sign" shirt. To this day, my mother can not explain to me when, or how that shirt came into my possession, or more importantly WHY I was wearing it in second grade on picture day no less. I gotta admit, its pretty damn funny though.

Another thing I noticed, why do they always put me next to the friggen Redskin fans???

2006-02-02T08:20:00.000-06:00

"A photograph is a secret about a secret. The more it tells you the less you know."
Diane Arbus

Since I have not one original idea in my head. Here is my version of Where's Waldo. Nom, over at NomLogic posted his third grade elementary group picture and challenged us to find him. So with apologies to the nomster, below is my second grade elementary school picture with the same challenge. No hints just blind guesses for you! And, not even a prize offered. Once again the original is so much better than the copy.

2006-02-01T08:30:00.000-06:00

"You can discover more in an hour of play than you can in a lifetime of conversation"
Unknown

I graduated from public school. My son goes to an overpriced (it will be worth it in the end they tell me) Catholic parochial school. When I thumb through his homework now, I literally can only do the English and literature he brings home. Everything else is gibberish. He's in 10th grade taking chemistry and his second year of French.

In 10th grade I was playing dodgeball in PE and enjoying my favorite class called Outdoor Education. Yes, Outdoor Education. This year long class consisted of the following. Every Monday, we would "learn" the rules of a particular game. Football, soccer etc. If it was raining, Chess, Backgammon and even monopoly. The following Tuesday through Friday was spent actually playing that particular game. We actually got credits toward graduation for this!!! To top that off, every other Friday, we would all bring items for a cookout, as we would head down to the creek behind the school, build a fire and cook hotdogs and hamburgers. I'm not kidding here. I'm not sure why, but that class was only offered one more year after that. I was one of the lucky ones that got to experience that.

So sure, @ will be prepared for his SAT's, he'll prolly get into a decent college and graduate to a nice career and make a lot of money. But he'll always have that little empty space the whole time, because he wasn't Educated on the Outdoors like we were in 1983. Maybe he'll find away to pull through.

2006-01-26T08:01:00.000-06:00

"I usually NEVER send these out, but..."
Local Habitual Email Forwarder

Everyone reading this has one. You know, that person that forwards you every email they receive. The unfunny joke, the Urban Legend that you have to debunk, and more often that not a nice little virus. The ones I really hate are the "forward this to 10 people and your luck will change". Yeah, the fate of my life will improve by pawning off an email on them that they don't want. That Karma sure is strange. Hey did you see that there is a new recipe for Neiman Marcus cookies that's being sent around?

Although, on the rare occasion something will be funny, like this:

2006-01-24T18:46:00.000-06:00

"back on the track and I'm beatin' the flack..."
Young, Young & Johnson

Blog Peer Pressure, thats what it comes down to. The TimeCannon was enjoying one of it's many hiatus. Then Nom HAD to re-open the NomLogic. It's not fair really. When NomLogic re-opens, you can't let your blog sink lower in the cyber quicksand. No, you have to re-open YOUR blog and churn out some more long boring nostalgia stories. Not only that, SPIDEY has a friggen blog now. Time to reach down and dredge up some more "first girlfriend" stories. Can't wait, can ya.

2005-09-04T00:29:00.000-05:00

...Full of Grace

I think I have started to realize why I'm such a sports fan, especially NFL Football. People with absolutely nothing in common can come together for three hours in front of the TV and high five with each other like they have been lifelong friends.

My first memory of being a fan happened on December 28th, 1975. I was eight. That day my grandfather was over watching the big game with my dad and myself. My fathers side of the family was always distant. I really didn't know my dads dad. He wasn't around too much. He didn't take an interest in his own kids, much less his grand kids.

But Dallas Cowboys football? There some common ground for you. It was playoff time, and the Cowboys were in Minnesota to face Fran Tarkenton and the Minnesota Vikings. Being an eight point underdog at the freezing Metropolitan Stadium (the friendly indoor confines of the Metrodome were not available for another 7 years) was not a promising situation.

The game was a classic defensive struggle with the Cowboys dominating everything but the scoreboard. With time, and the season slipping away, the Cowboys faced a 4th and 17 on their own 25 yard line. Staubach hit Pearson on the sidelines for 25 yard and a first down right at the midfield stripe. 36 seconds remained in the season, and they had no timeouts. What happened next has gone down as one of the most stunning plays in NFL history. Roger pumps left then heaves it deep to Drew Pearson, who catches it at the five yard line and strolls in for the touchdown. I had just witnessed "The Hail Mary". When a single play gets its own "name" over time (see "the immaculate reception" and "The Catch") it has cemented itself in NFL lore, an all time classic. I, of course, didn't know this, and was actually too busy watching my grandfather leap out of the recliner and run around our living room literally yelling "were gonna win!!" over and over. Hugging anyone he could. This person who was usually so grim and uncaring, transformed into a different person that afternoon. By a simple football game.

Too bad they only play 17 weeks out of the year...

2005-08-29T15:46:00.000-05:00

"You are standing in a field west of a white house..."
Local Infocom Parser

Thats how it started. Funny how that phrase shaped what I wanted to do with my life. I didn't know it at the time, but it's easy to see looking back.

For those of you unfamiliar with it, thats the opening line of the classic text adventure Zork. Although, when I first adventured into the white house and down into the Great Underground Empire, it had not reached its commecial form and was called Dungeon, floating around the big DEC mainframes. I had a friend in 1979 whose dad worked for DEC. Personal computers were still a year or two away and his dad would bring home a dumb terminal (literally a keyboard and a green screen monitor with a 300 baud modem)to use in the evenings to login from home and work. If there was time when he was done, he would let us get on and show us some of the "games" we could play. Eliza, they Psychic, the Star Trek simulator, the old standby Lunar Lander simulation etc. We would spend HOURS playing the crude games. I was fascinated, I wanted to be involved in this somehow. This would be such a COOL career.

It was set it stone the evening we typed DUNGEO into the command prompt. Your standing in an open field and a blinking command prompt. You then typed commnand such as, GO EAST, GET SWORD etc. sounds way to simple doesn't it. But the vivid descriptions of the places you went (Who can forget Flood Control Dam #3?) and the creatures you came across were amazing. No graphics, none. Text only. Now im not going to be stupid and say the Dungeon was more fun than a Battlefield 2 fragfest, it can't comare to the offerings found on a PC now. But at that time, that place, there was nothing more fascinating.

A year or two later the home PC market began to boom, and I got my first PC, the good ol' Atari 800. The first game that I purchased, in a cheap looking blister pack, with very, NON professional art was a game from a new start up called Infocom. The game was Zork, and I was home again.

My entire professional career (minus the 2 years during High School at Famous Ramos Hot Dog stand) i have been involved with computers in some way or another. And it can all be traced back to that darkened room and glowing green cursor in 1979.

If you have never experienced a text adventure, there are still a group of devoted people creating new text adventures for todays PC's. Now its called Interactive Fiction and a great starting point is at The Brass Lantern. Give it a try. You won't be sorry.

2005-07-29T20:33:00.000-05:00

A Death In The Family
Amazing Live (not anymore) Sea Monkeys!

Some sort of algea infection has claimed the life of my beloved Sea-Monkey's. This was the longest living batch ever in my long history of raising the little critters. This batch stayed alive almost THREE years. Amazing. No telling how many generations. So, how 'bout a moment of silence please, for those Amazing Live (now dead) Sea Monkeys...

2005-07-07T16:28:00.000-05:00

Freedom!

And thats all I have to say about that....

2005-04-30T23:46:00.000-05:00

Takedown
The Pursuit and Capture of Kevin Mitnick

This marks the return of the Audiobook review. With the new jobs added drivetime, I should be able to churn through books a bit faster now.

Tsutomo Shimomura one of the nations leading computer security experts had his machine compromised Christmas of 1994. Little did he know, the perpetrator was the infamous Kevin Mitnick, who was at the time, on the run from the FBI and the NSA. Takedown is the story of Tsutomo's detailed steakout and final capture of the nations top computer criminal.

This book is almost 10 years old. But I think that is one of the main reasons I enjoyed it. It's always fun to read accounts of the beginnings of the "popular" internet. This books is peppered statements like "we will never have use for hard drives over 4gb" etc, etc. Tsutomos detail used in this book will likely be a huge turnoff for the casual non technical reader, but to those interested in computer security will no doubt find it fascinating. There was a reference to a IRC chat that was one of the main pieces of evidence against Mitnick. Cool to see a technology 10 years old, still being used.

Like most security gurus, Tsutomu's ego is almost as large as his knowledge of the field. But hey, if you can back it up, might as well brag about it. Overall this was a very enjoyable read, the culmination of the Takedown was a bit disappointing, I was left wanting a bit more of "where are they now" type closure. Alot of people that follow the Mitnick story say that this account is a bit one sided, so I'll keep my eyes open for one of the other publicized accounts. Nonetheless, another Bacon recommended Listen.

Next up on the iPod: Just One Look, by Harlan Coben.

2005-04-25T11:44:00.000-05:00

YES!!
Local Ecstatic Interviewee

"Dear Mr. Bacon,

We are please to offer you a position..."

2005-04-24T16:24:00.000-05:00

Five Months

No new posts in 5 months, I guess my blog frittered away to the last place you want your blog to be when you have your naive high hopes in the beginning that "this blog" will be a hit and visitied daily by millions daily! Oh well.

I have a HUGE job interview tomorrow. The recent Real Life (TM) stress (and the major contributor to this blog "fading into 'Bolivia" as Mike Tyson so eloquently said) could be alleviated with the attainment of this job. I really think this could be a watershed moment, one you look back on and can say, "thats where things took a turn for the better". Anyway if anyone for some unknown reason stumbles across this between now and Monday at 10:00 CDT, send out some nice vibe my way, to say I need em is an understatement...

2004-11-12T09:32:00.000-06:00

Wow. Almost two weeks without an update. That’s pretty sad. Every time I say that I’m gonna update more often, the longer the periods of inactivity become. Oh well, here’s one for Whome and the fella’s at the TVA…

“Down goes Frazier, Down Goes Frazier!!!”
Howard Cosell

The neighborhood I grew up in had about six kids my age or within at least a year of my age. So, most of the time you could always find someone to pal around with on those long summer days. But there was the rare occasion that everyone else was off somewhere doing chores or out of town. On those occasions, I would have to actually stoop and (gasp!) play with my younger brother. Didn’t happen often, but it happened. This fateful day, the game of choice was baseball. How can you play base ball with two people? Well it’s pretty easy when one can’t hit the ball. And my brother, at the age of nine, could NOT hit the ball. I would stand on the sidewalk, lob him some slow pitches and he would swing and miss almost every time. Sometimes though, he would hit a little dribbler back to me, and he would try to make it to first base, running like a madman. He had fun, and it passed the day so what the heck.

The ball we used was a generic heavy rubber ball. The kind every toy store had. You remember, they were heavy rubber and had an outer skin of plastic that would always crack with age, but they would last forever. And the older they got, the harder they got, and this ball had to be at least two years old.

The game of baseball that we played on the day I was sure I had killed my little brother began as they always did. Strikeout after strikeout, the occasional come-backer to me nothing out of the ordinary. Then it happened. He connected with the ball for the first time in his life. It shot off his bat like a rocket, soaring higher and finally landing on the OTHER side of what we called “the busy” street. This would have been quite a distance for myself to hit the ball, but for him to hit it that far was mind boggling. Measuring distances as a kid, it was always “house links.” Well he hit it about seven houses long. As I began to chase the ball, I realized that he was going to score on me. He had never scored on me. How can I let him score on me? I made a mad dash for the ball. You see, in our version of baseball, you could throw the ball at the batter rounding the bases, and if hit, the batter was out. As I finally reached the ball, I picked it up and saw him about to get to the water meter cover (third base, for those that have never played Front Yard Baseball) I started running towards him. As he rounded third and headed home, only about thirty five feet from the glory of scoring a run, I launched the ball. Still being about 6 “houses” away, I threw it so hard I fell down. It was at this point, I saw everything in slow motion. The ball, on it’s high speeding arc, my brother, with pure glee still plastered on his face reaching out to touch the tree (home plate) and ready to bask in the glory for days, and the ball falling from the sky like a laser guided hellfire missile finding it’s mark directly on his ear with a sickening "smack" . He fell like a sack of potatoes. Not moving. “Oh shit! I Killed him!!” I sprinted over to him as fast as I could, all the while wondering how long the official grounding period is for killing a sibling. About ten feet before I got to him, he staggered to his feet and wobbled towards me. His eyes were completely glazed over. He had a panicked look on his face and he said exasperatingly “Hey! I think I’m unconscious!!!” I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

Later that day, when the swelling was down and he had regained his senses, he asked me if he scored. I told him, “yeah, you scored”. I wasn’t gonna tell him he didn’t. Heck, I almost killed him…

2004-10-22T09:25:00.000-05:00

"Itsssssssss Friiiiiiiiiiidaaaaaaaaaaaay!"
Local Oogla Antagonizer

Vacation Day today. No reason. No plans. Just thought you'd like to know.

Also, last week I forgot to wish my bud Whome a happy birthday. So, happy late birthday man, I hope Chuck E Cheese roooled!

2004-10-21T13:32:00.000-05:00

Ralphing Kisses

After reading my buddy Escapes post about his faithful dog Maynard, it seems a good time for a dog story.

The day before Christmas Eve, we had decided to go out to eat. I had started gathering the candy that I was going to put in the stockings and had left it on the corner of the end table out of site. Or so I thought. When we returned from dinner, I notice little bits of what looked like aluminum foil around the house. I followed the trail until it ended directly under the Christmas tree. There sat an empty bag ( a ONE pound bag mind you) of Hershey Kisses. Shaye the Weenie dog, well into her 10th year had eaten a pound of chocolate in our absence. She was also nowhere to be seen. Anytime we return to the house and she didn’t greet you at the door wagging her tail is a bad sign. It usually meant she did something she knew she would get in trouble for and was firmly entrenched under the back corner of the bed, her favorite hiding spot. She was there, and didn’t want to come out. I let here stay there and went to get on the computer. After about 10 minutes, waddling around the corner came one of the funnies things I have seen. She was literally wobbling. Her stomach was stretched so much she looked like she was about to pop. And she was making that low moaning, “I can’t believe I ate the whole thing” moan that we all make from time to time. The humor turned to concern when I decided to do a search on “dog” and “chocolate”. It seems that chocolate, depending on the dog’s weight can be fatal and is actually poisonous to them. A call to the on-call person at our Animal Clinic confirmed that a pound of chocolate in a dog as small as she was would almost certainly be fatal. So off to the Vet we go. When we got there they told us they would have two options. Force her to drink hydrogen-peroxide, causing her to empty out the ‘ol stomach. If that didn’t work, they would give her some kind of charcoal tablets that can filter out the toxins. The latter option was a last resort and sometimes doesn’t work. They took her to the back and I waited. About five minutes later, she brings her back in, two or three dress sizes smaller. Her eyes had that watery look they have after really heaving. She had that “im NEVER gonna do that again” look you’ve seen your buddy have after drinking one too many. We had gotten there fast enough, that it hadn’t digested too much and the threat was averted. The Vet bill was three hundred bucks. When people asked me that year if the dog got anything for Christmas, I replied truthfully, “yeah, she got to live…”

What a great dog.

Below is a picture of her and the new dog Maggie about six months before she passed away. You ever see a dog sleep like that???

.

2004-10-15T09:43:00.000-05:00

"It's not the tale, it's he who tells it"
Stephen King, Different Seasons

When you have a child in elementary school, you look forward to the school work they bring home, especially when they are young. Your refrigerator is covered in their artwork. Almost always, it brings out the “aww, how sweet factor”. But on some occasions, they bring home something that is so far out of left field you wonder how the heck they came up with it. Such was the case for @ in second grade when asked to write a scary Halloween story. Below is scan of the actual story. We got a good weeks laugh at this. Even @ cracks up still. Now he’s a Freshman in High School, and he still hasn’t topped this one.

Please note, feel free to tell this story around campfires etc., just don’t hold me responsible for the sleepless nights it will cause.

“I was trickortreting. I got so scard I peed in my pants. Guss who jumped in front of me. Elves Prestly. Great balls of fire.”

2004-10-12T09:40:00.000-05:00

Of Deanna Peoples and the Hall of Mirrors

Late September and early October mean one thing if you live in Dallas, The Great State Fair of Texas. Having lived here my whole life and attended the Fair regularly, I’m sure it’s lost on me what a special tradition it is. Sure other states have their “state” fair, but this is TEXAS man, and in Texas everything is bigger. That’s almost cliché, but it’s true. Growing up, the Fair was all about the midway. How many rides could we fit in without throwing up and having to go home? How much money could we lose to the Midway barkers telling us, “you only have to make one to get the prize!”?

The fair is about the food. World famous corny dogs. Texas Tornado-Taters. If it’s a solid food, they can, and will, fry it. They even had fried cheesecake this year. The Fair is about the Auto building, where “you to can view vehicles that you could NEVER be able to afford in TWO lifetimes!”. But most of all, when I go to the Fair now, it's about the nostalgia. I guess I really am getting old, because those memories of youth keep getting stronger. Call it “good ol’ days syndrome” I don’t care.

Sixth Grade. I had my first steady girlfriend. She wore my Pee-Wee football bracelet with my name on it, if you were the type that needed proof. I looked forward to the State Fair that year with extra anticipation for two reasons. One, our parents were dropping us off and we were going to be free to roam the Fairgrounds at our own will. Two, the girlfriend was gonna be with me. We hadn’t even held hands yet, much less kissed. But the possibilities made for many sleepless nights.

Fall in Texas is not like Fall “up north”. We pretty much go from Summer to winter. There are though, a few spectacular Fall days, and when they happen, you really notice. This day, the sky was a spectacular shade of blue, a Technicolor blue. The air was crisp, a welcome relief from the dog days of Dallas summers. We had been wandering the grounds for about an hour uneventfully. I had won her a mirror with Reo Speedwagons logo on it with my uncanny dart throwing abilities. We had already had the requisite corny dogs. I could dela it no longer. It was time to make “the move”. As we passed the funhouse, I said “lets go in there!” Everyone knew the funhouse was where you made your move. Into the funhouse we went, past the rotating barrels, through the "air up the skirt shooter" and in to the hall of mirrors. I don’t remember too much, other than being debilitatingly nervous, and really don’t remember the first kiss all that well. The second one though, that was a different story. The pressure was off.

I wonder how many times the hall of mirrors hosted a “first kiss”. Exiting the Fun House on that perfect October day, life could not be any better, any simpler. I was even bold enough to begin planning next years trip with her to the Fair. We would skip the Fun House and go to the Lazer Light Extravaganza. It’s dark in there, and they have bean bags to lay on…

Four months later, she broke up with me. First heartbreak. Didn’t even give me my bracelet back. Girlfriends would come and go. But you always remember your first girlfriend right? To this day it still never fails, when we get those one or two perfect Fall afternoons, I flashback to the Hall of Mirrors. Sound like a cheesy Wonder Years episode don’t it?

2004-10-05T08:39:00.000-05:00

"I only had a high school education and believe me, I had to cheat to get that."
Sparky Anderson

As I mentioned before, the boy is playing high school baseball now. The Freshmen aren’t supposed to play “Fall Ball” but they need players on the Junior Varsity, so they are throwing the Freshmen to the wolves. Heck, they aren’t doing half bad. This weekend’s game was at my old high school. It was really weird, pulling into the parking lot. Not too much has changed. As we got out of the car I paused for a second, looked around and realized that I was one parking spot away from my Senior parking space. I guess its sad that I remember that. I also remember, 20 years ago. walking down that sidewalk, getting in the car and thinking, “wow, I did it. Whats next?”

Seems like yesterday.

2004-09-24T08:22:00.000-05:00

“Hobbies of any kind are boring, except to people who have the same hobby.”
Dave Barry

I pride myself on not letting what’s going on in the world get me down. Christ, do you ever watch the 10:00 news? Is there a more depressing 30 minutes of TV? So I avoid it. I also read comic books. I hang out on IRC and act like a moron with my friends (HaCsA Roolez!). I subscribe to MAD magazine. I have every Three Stooges short in mpeg format (Thanks Snard!). I spend 8+ hours watching football on Sunday during the NFL season. I do these things because if you stop and think what’s going on out there, it’ll scare ya to death. Is avoiding things the best way to deal with life? Nope. But as Popeye says, I Yam What I Yam. So while people are fretting where the next attack is coming from, just remember I’m driving somewhere around Dallas looking for a place that sells Sea Monkey food. Im all out.

2004-09-23T08:11:00.000-05:00

"Thats no moon, It's a space station!"
Ben Kenobi

With the release of the Indiana Jones Trilogy on DVD this year, there remained one Holy Grail movie left to be released on DVD. That, of course is, Star Wars. Unless you live in a cave, you know the long wait for Lucas’ trilogy is over. It was released yesterday. While in line to purchase I counted nine people in front of me, all nine had the set it their hand. Please don’t mistake me for a Star Wars fanboy who can name each minor character along with their family lineage etc, etc. That’s not me. Not that that is a bad thing.

Star Wars came out in 1977. I was the ripe old age of ten. I walked in Northpark Cinema I & II (where the rich people went!) with absolutely no idea what kind of movie my dad was dragging me to. Why do I care to see a war movie?? Two hours later, the way I looked at the movies was forever changed. It wasn’t the story, heck the good vs. evil motif has been used countless times before and often better. It wasn’t the actors, Carrie Fisher? Mark Who? Ok, that Harrison Ford guy went on to have a serviceable career if you want to get picky, but the reason Star Wars impacted me so much was the fact that I, (hell, no one) had seen a story told so visually different. There was nothing to compare it to. Nothing like that had ever been put on film before. I literally remember the awe that I felt during the opening battle sequence, the Star Destroyer filling up the entire screen. I REMEMBER that feeling. Twenty Seven years ago and I remember. That is the beauty of Star Wars for me. I can show Star Wars to my fifteen year old and he’ll say “boy the effects sure sucked back then”. But the thing that really sucks is that he’ll never walk into a theater, unaware, and witness the advent of something so impactful, it completely revises the way you look at something from that point on. The special effects in movies today are so fantastic, that they seem run of the mill. A “been there done that” attitude has snuck up on us. Even the creator of the Star Wars saga is not immune to the “no story, all special effects” syndrome with his horrible soul-less prequels. But, now, with the DVD set, I can take a trip back that late May evening in 1977 where everything changed. Pick up the set if you haven’t already. And tell your teen-ager that the effects DO NOT suck!

2004-09-13T11:45:00.000-05:00

Football Isn't a Contact Sport, It's a Collision Sport...
Duffy Daugherty

In my book, the start of the NFL season should be a national holiday. The previous Friday and the following Monday should be free of work, all focus should be allowed on the game. I'm serious. Even the wife, who, bless her heart, knows how much football season means to me, had the Chili going before kickoff. The chips and dip set out and the beverages were extra chilled.

During the NFL season, my Sunday consists of the following: Get up at 10:00am and start watching the ESPN Gameday. Fire up the wireless laptop and get connected to DirecTV's Game Tracker. This in conjunction with DirecTV's NFL Sunday ticket package is the ultimate way to watch the games. 11:30 fire up the lunch for the game (Frito Pie, Chili, Brats, etc., etc). 12:00, settle in for the next NINE hours of gridiron action. Am I sick? Probably. Do I care. Not a bit, ya only get 17 weeks of it, so I savor it all.

2004-09-10T14:36:00.000-05:00

It's A Long Way To The Top, If Ya Wanna Rock n Roll...
The Late Great Bon Scott

@ has played drums for almost a year now. He asked for a kit for Christmas and I was reluctant to spend that kind of money on something that I assumed would be collecting dust in 2 months. We found a person that had to sell their $2,500 kit for $900 bucks. That's a very expensive Christmas present, but I bit the bullet and bought 'em. Since Christmas day, I can't think of 2 or three days in a row where he wasn't out in the garage for at least and hour playing. He's still taking lessons but has become very good in a short amount of time.

He has a friend that plays guitar and another that plays bass. They have been threatening to get together and "jam". Last Saturday, they finally got their schedules together and gathered in my garage. They attempted a couple of songs. Lets just say I have patient neighbors. I can't begin to describe how loud it was. I'm talking CONCERT loud. They trudged on for about an hour. Afterwards, @ came to me looking all disappointed and said "man, we SUCK". I told him that your ALWAYS gonna suck when you get together and play with someone for the first time. I told him that each time you play together, you'll get progressively better. I got the "yeah whatever" look and he went about his business.

They played together midweek, and I was actually surprised at the noise coming from my garage. For a small amount of time, actual music emanated through the house. When they left, he came into the living room excitedly and asked "did you hear that?!" (How could I miss it) I told him sure I heard it, and don't wanna say I told ya so, but I told ya so.

Who knows what will come of it. You never know he may be quoted in Rolling Stone years from now, pointing back to those garage sessions. I just hope they don't forget about us little guys.

2004-08-26T16:50:00.000-05:00

Urine Trouble

I am consistently floored by the amount of people that exit the public restroom without washing their hands. Now, I can understand if your just lazy, but even though, if you see someone else in there with you, at least fake it. We are compiling a "PeePee Hand" list here at work. I might just sneak it up on the Intranet too. So come on people, start washing up, you may get called worse than PeePee Hands.

2004-08-25T09:08:00.000-05:00

"Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra. "
Fran Lebowitz

Seeing some of the homework @ has brought home has made me have flashbacks to my High School days of yore. His Algebra homework really made me cringe. Mathematics have never really been my strong point. In school, I got behind early, and stayed there. The jump from regular math to Algebra (Eighth to Ninth grade) completely exposed my math "skills".

Up until that point, I could usually not pay attention in class, daydream, then get home and kludge my way through the homework. Just enought to get by you know. Well, I thought I could do the same in Algebra. But a pivotal moment, the fourth day of class really highlighted how much trouble I was in.

The Algebra teacher was walking the class through a problem on the overhead machine. Step by step carrying out the problem, moving the x down the equation until finally he got to the end and stated, " so, class, x=what?" The entire class (minus Einstein here) stated in perfect unison, "thrity seven". I had already realized that I was behind, so I decided that I better show a little bit of interaction, and try to get back up to "just enough to get by speed". So I raised my hand and posed the fateful question. "Where did the X come from?" There was an immediate corous of laughs and guffaws from all around me. The teacher looked at me, and I swear, rolled his eyes and shook his head and without saying a word, went on to the next question. Six weeks later came my, first (and ONLY) F of my high school career, followed by a very patient tutor. And bless her soul, with hard work and perseverance, I achieved " just enough to get by" status once again.

2004-08-19T09:59:00.000-05:00

23 Years??!!

Well the boy started High School Monday. An expensive Catholic Prep school to boot. The phrase living check to check has re-entered my life after a long (and appreciated) absence. Monday morning, I was trying to dole out Fatherly wisdom, as he was visibly nervous. So I told him that it "seemed just like yesterday when I started my freshman year, it was..", I paused to do the math, and then said, " only 23 years ago!" Holy Cow! TWENTY THREE years. He noticed the shocked look on my face and asked me what was wrong. I said, "Dude, I'm OLD!!" His reassuring response was, "What, you didn't know that?" Nice.

2004-08-19T09:45:00.000-05:00

Ok Ok Ok, Im Back

Thanks to a little push from Vadergrrrl, I guess Ill continue with this little experiment. Both you readers out there can look forward to more trials and tribulations of the Time Cannon. Tell me when it gets boring....

2004-07-27T13:59:00.000-05:00

"You Have 6,184 Unread Messages"
(local spam magnet)

Got a call yesterday from an employee that stated he never checks his email and wanted me to look at something for him. I wander back to his workstation and he points to his inbox in Outlook. 6,184. That’s how many unread email messages he had. I asked him if he uses his email address to sign up for things and he swears he doesn’t. Yeah, right. After deleting all his messages I notice that during the deletion time, he had already received five new junk emails. I had investigated some enterprise spam programs for Exchange, but never followed through. A former co- worker pointed me to ORF (Open Filter Relay from vamsoft). They have a 30 day trial version with full functionality. So I installed and configured it. It took less than 10 minutes, and I was dropping junk email off the server like a bad habit. The program has a real time statistics counter. From 8:00 this morning until lunch at 1:00 we had received 790 emails. Of all of those emails only 169 were actual valid non spam mail. Almost 80 percent of our mail is spam. I wouldn’t have believed that. Being a small company, I can only imagine the volume of unsolicited email the big corporations get.

Speaking of spam, has anyone ever ACTUALLY purchased something sent in an unsolicited email? Anyone? Well, someone obviously has, and we need to hunt that person down and give them a reason to buy that penis enlargement pill.

2004-07-26T14:59:00.000-05:00

Zed's Dead Baby

Movie quotes. Why do I contstantly quote movies? I will hear something and my brain will immediatley correlate it with some obscure quote in some obscure movie. I don't know why I do it, lord knows it drives my wife nuts. Heck even my blog description is a movie quote. "Just a fly in the ointment Hans..." from the multi-quotable Die Hard (arguably the best Action movie all time, think about it, after Die Hard came out, every action movie touted itself "Die Hard on a Bus! or Die Hard on a Boat!"). Anyway, Entertainment Weekly just did an entire story on the best movie quotes. Suprisingly "Hello, My Name is Inigo Monotoya. You killed my father, prepare to die" from another great sorce of quotes ("Inocthhhheeevable!") The Princess Bride. Great quote, but I sure wouldn't think that it was the most popular of all time. I would have thought it would have been "Say hello to my leeeetle friend" or "Go ahead, make my day" or some other pop culture staple. Good choice though. My favorite is the "just a fly in the ointment" line. People always remember the "Yipeee Kiyaeeee Motherfucker" but I like the way Willis responded when Hans demanded to know who he was, "just a fly in the ointment Hans, a monkey in the wrench..." Second and third place are both from the same movie, also a gold mine for movie quotes. Pulp Fiction:

Vincent: Have you ever given foot massage?
Jules: Don't be tellin me about no foot massages, I'm the foot fuckin' Mastah. I got my technique down, don't be tickln' or nothin.

Jules after he turns the gun on Ringo: Normally, both your asses would be dead as fuckin' fried chicken right now, but you happened to pull this shit while im in a transitional period...

What are your faves?

2004-07-23T10:56:00.000-05:00

Please Enter Your Initials
(local Donkey Kong machine)

There goes another. A part of my youth torn down. Heading home from work on my alternate route when traffic is bad , I saw it. "Putt Putt Golf-N-Games CLOSED - Auction 8/7/04". Wow. I grew up in the 80's. Video games broke, and broke big in '81. Putt Putt was THE place to be on Friday and Saturday nights. No, not for the mini-golf, but for the arcade. I can remember it like it was yesterday, the sounds, the smells. The people packed around the newest games. Saving lunch money all week for the precious friday tokens. Walking around, hoping to run into a certain girl and acting suprised when you saw her. That certain girl walking with you to the (finally!) open Donkey Kong machine seeing you put the cherry on top, by putting her initials in the high score after dominating like no one else had that day. Did it get any more chivalrous that that?!

Putt Putt remained IT for almost 2 years. The Great Videogame Crash of '84 and a shooting in the parking lot put an end to Putt Putt's ownership of "Best Friday Night Hangout". We got our own cars, and along with that came the girl. Hanging out didn't happen too much anymore. At least not like hanging out at Putt Putt. And I miss that...

2004-07-19T16:57:00.000-05:00

The Summer Blogging Doldroms

Wow. Almost 2 weeks without new stuff here, at first, I though it was just the 4th of July holiday. But after another week, I realized that I didn't have anything to say. Bloggersblock. Anyone I can sue? Seriously, how do you people put up something interesting DAILY? It's amazing. Well, this week, I will try to get back into the routine. I will leave you with a line from my favorite comedian Mitch Hedberg.

"I had an ant farm once, them fella's didn't grow SHIT! How 'bout a carrot, or something man!"

2004-07-09T13:42:00.000-05:00

Audiobook Review #3

The Taking
by Dean Koontz

I have always been a Dean Koontz fan, and have rarely been disappointed with his work. The Taking, his newest novel, has left me wondering if I liked it or not. Have you ever finished watching a movie and not realize whether you liked it or not? Only days later do you form an opinion. Maybe it's just me. That's the way I feel with this book. I enjoyed it. I never found myself looking forward to it ending (which is my simpleton benchmark for something good or not). But I still don't quite know how to feel about it.

The story starts off in a couples isolated home in California, a torrential rain (unheard of at this time of year in California) has woken our Heroine, Molly Sloan from sleep. This is no ordinary rain, it has a faint luminous quality to it, and a scent that doesn't smell like rainwater. The rain continues, and reports of this phenomenon are being reported globally. Gigantic waterspouts are spotted in every ocean on the planet, sucking up millions of gallons of water. Along with the rain comes an obscuring fog. A surreal fog that becomes the creepy backdrop for the story. The Sloans decide that it would be better for them go to into town and be with others instead of isolated in their house. Only then, do they begin to grasp the gravity of the situation. Unearthly pulsating black and yellow moss has began coating the trees. Strange looking creatures are glimpsed. And dead people are being reanimated. Hovering lights in the fog and the whine of gigantic engines in the sky lead them to the conclusion that it's an alien invasion.

Being a Stephen King fan, I cannot help but make comparisons of The Taking to his short story, The Mist. One scene especially, where the survivors and separating in several splinter groups, with their own labels. The people that couldn't believe that this was an invasion were called the Flatlanders, because they refused to believe what was happening. The EXACT same term was used in The Taking. I'm sure it's coincidence, but I couldn't help compare the two.

The story then becomes a task to save and children left. They don't know why, but are compel to save them, and are led to them by ordinary dogs. As with my other reviews I won't come right out and tell you how it ends, what fun would that be. But I will say, it was an Alien invasion. But the resolution, or the ending may have been a bit morally heavy handed for some. It was a fun ride. And recommended. But again, there's not much I dislike.

Next up on the iPOD: Red Mars by Kim Robinson

2004-07-08T14:45:00.000-05:00

Back to the Coal Mines

What an absolutely relaxing Fourth of July weekend. I weaseled Tuesday off and left early the Friday thus making it damn near a five day weekend. I didn't accomplish one thing over those five days (unless you count blowing up an obscenely expensive amount of fireworks on Sunday) , and that's the way I like it.

Returning to work Wednesday, an employee brought in a computer and asked if I could look at it. She said its been running slow, and has a bunch of pop-ups. My workspace is ideal for this and I even have on network connection patched over to the "outside world" T1 which allows me to connect a computer to the internet, and keep it OFF our internal network. After getting past the "hot teen sex" pop ups, I was finally able to get Norton Antivirus to run. 2,121 virus instances later, it completed the scan. Someone call the Center for Disease Control, we have ourselves a genuine world record. I felt the sudden urge to wash my hands. I'm not making this up.

Running Ad-Aware and Spybot revealed just as many spyware instances as there were virus. I don't know how this machine was even booting up. This again bolsters my belief that there needs to be some computer literacy test you have to pass before you can use a computer. Because common sense seems has gone the way of the dinosaurs.

2004-07-07T09:41:00.000-05:00

Same Bat Channel

After a brief blogging holiday, Time Cannon will resume it's regularly scheduled updates tomorrow, hope everyone had a Happy Fourth!

2004-06-28T12:12:00.000-05:00

Sign o' The Times

So Iv'e told you before that the field department of our company attracts a rather colorful type of individual. Drunks, druggies, and good ol rednecks. Yesterday I was working on a PC in one of the field managers office and noticed a piece of paper hanging down over one of the field crew's in-box. The print was about a 3rd grade level and it said:

"Do not call me, I will be drunk and won't can understand you. Thanks. Joe."

Looks like Joe has his vacation planned out.

2004-06-26T11:17:00.000-05:00

No Goodniks

There was a pretty nasty vulnerability exploited in Internet Explorer this weekend. Hackers infiltrated web servers of some pretty popular websites and planted a nice little virus for anyone who happened to visit the site using Internet Explorer. This code dropped a Trojan horse on the persons machine and started transferring the persons personal data to a server located in Russia for use with bad intentions I'm sure. Microsoft's response was that people using XP with service pack 2 are not vulnerable. That's nice, considering that Service Pack 2 is still in beta and 98 percent of your average users wouldn't know where to download it. The other alternative is to set Internet Explorers security settings all the way to High. Which of course, breaks just about any webpage you want to visit. Er, how about patching the hole in IE?

The server in Russia that was the destination of the stolen data, was shut down by the "authorities". So the initial threat is gone. But, as of this writing the hole is still not patched. You can bet some haX0r will rewrite a knock off of this one. So, until it's patched, I would highly recommend that you not use IE (unless you have service pack 2). My friend Imbie recommends Firefox. I never thought I would agree.

2004-06-25T21:07:00.000-05:00

We Can Improve Your IT Service At Half The Cost
Local Outsourcing Telemarketing Moron

I got an interesting phone call today. A person from Global Pardigm Solutions asked how I was doing. When my '90s Corporate Buzzword meter exploded at the sound of that ridiculous company name, I should have went ahead and hung up. But I'm a glutton for punishment. He began his speil, not letting me get a word in. He explained to me how he and his company can end our IT woes by outsourcing all the technical functions for one low cost. Heck they'd even run our Email server for us. When he finished I asked him if he knew what I did. He said that he knew we were in the Land Survey business. I then told him that I was the person he was trying to replace. After a few stammering words he attempted to backtrack. A fella named Mike could swing by the office and have a ten minute meet and greet. I have found that on sales calls, the best way to get back at them is to let them think that your really interested, string them along a bit, then at the last minute, bail. So I played along, setting up a meeting for Monday morning. As I was about to hang up, I asked him Mike's last name. Another stammer. This guy didn't know the last name of the guy he was going to send over to take my job. Amazing. Should I cancel the meeting an hour before? Or is that giving them too much warning?

2004-06-24T16:22:00.000-05:00

"Dude, can I borrow your ticket stub?
Local Burnout Concertgoer

The concert was great. As I said previously, I'm not a huge Rush fan, but they put on a hell of a show. When you've played together for 30 years, I guess you have it down pretty good.

This was @'s first show. They played for three and a half hours, over 30 songs, with a 20 minute intermission. He didn't know many of the songs but never looked bored. That's the great thing about a big rock show, if there is a lull in the action, you can always people-watch, especially an older established band, with older fans. My buddy and me had a bet, whoever guessed the opening song got free beer that night. My guess (Spirit of Radio) was the winner. I took full advantage of my victory. Good thing, too, as beer was ridiculously priced at EIGHT FIFTY a beer. The best part of the show was, as with any Rush show, the drum solo. Universally regarded as the best rock drummer of all time Neal Peart did not disappoint. I kept watching @ out of the corner of my eye. He was watching wide eyed and slack jawed, not believing what he was seeing. As was the rest of the crowd.

Random observations from the show:

If your over 40, please leave the spandex at home, think about the children for chrissakes.

Why, at every concert, is there the burnout rambling from seat to seat? He has no ticket, and just lights at the nearest empty seat, pumps his fists in the air like he has been paying attention until security makes him leave. Rinse and repeat. Does he not realize his MISSING the show??

At risk of sounding like an old fart, how can ANYONE afford to go to a show anymore? The face value on our seats was $79.95 with a $15.00 Ticketmaster rapeage. T-Shirts, good ol fruit of the loom T-Shirts, were $30! And I've told you about the beer. It takes the Gross National Product of Lower Slabovia for three people to go to a concert.

To the Dallas Morning News Overnight Columnist who reviewed the show and said "It transcends mere concert; it is a ritual to be shared with like-minded comrades, in this case, approximately 11,000 other white guys, average age 38. You haven't seen rock devotion until you've scanned an arena filled with beefy dudes in polo shirts, their elbows darting in the air like symphony conductors, each executing his own personal session of frenzied air drumming: I say,

Fuck you, I'm 37...

2004-06-23T11:58:00.000-05:00

"Invisible Airwaves Crackle With Life..."
Rush, Spirit of Radio

A big event happens tonight. I'm taking the boy to his first concert. Rush is currently on their 30th Anniversary tour and coming through Dallas. While not a huge fan of the band, I really wanted to take @ to see them because @ plays the drums. And anyone who knows anything about Rock N Roll, knows the best drummer in the known galaxy is Rush's Neil Peart. Even if @ only knows two songs (Tom Sawyer and Limelight) you can't go wrong spending two hours watching someone who is the best at what they do. Even better, is the location of the seats (Section 101, Row n), thats 13 row center stage my friend. I'm really looking forward to it, nothing like a good loud Rock N Roll show to get things back into perspective.

2004-06-21T15:56:00.000-05:00

Screwed

Who's the guy they named the Phillips head screw for? Is someone out there heir to the vast Phillips Head Screw Guy Fortune? Just wondering.

2004-06-19T09:37:00.000-05:00

Logitech MX510

Last week I replaced my trusty Microsoft Intellimouse Explorer with the new Logitech MX510, and I couldn't be happier. I had read lots of online reviews and had two co-workers swear by this mouse. I was a little hesitant, because its a corded mouse, but wireless has it's detractions also, mainly the fact that it drinks batteries like no tomorrow.

Currently the mouse comes in 2 versions, blue and red. The 'hologram' paint cannot be justified in a picture, you really have to see it to see how cool it is. I got the supposedly hard to find blue model at CompUSA, justifying the fifty dollar purchase as an early fathers day gift (God bless my wife, I don't know why she puts up with me). It comes as a USB mouse with the PS2 adapter and installs quickly. I immediately noticed a difference from the start. The MX510 is so much smoother than the Intellimouse (as the Intellimouse is 400 DPI and the Logitech is 800 DPI). Working in Photoshop, cropping and other detail oriented tasks are much easier, allowing more minute adjustments than the Intellimouse. The MX510 also has 8 programmable buttons, two on the thumb side, right and left click, scroll click and 3 others. So if your in the market for a mouse, definitely give this one a look.

Also, if you have an optical mouse, you NEED to have one of these Optical Mouse pads from Xtrac, makes all the difference in the world.

2004-06-18T20:13:00.000-05:00

Ya Can't Take The Mom and Pop Outta The Shop

Our company is trying to take the step from "small business" to "medium - to large" company. In the last year, we've moved from and eight thousand square foot rental office to purchasing a thirty two thousand sqare foot office building. Thats no Microsoft, but considering this thing litterally started in someones garage. It's pretty amazing. It's also the reason that I'm still working here. I could probably make a little more money elsewhere, but I think I'm in on the ground floor of something that could, and has, really start taking off.

But I digress, for whatever reason, the Land Survey business attracts (at least for the field work) an interesting type of individual. To put it blunty, most are drunks and druggies. Hey, I ain't throwing stones in a glass house here, I don't do it at work. Until today, that is.

The owner of the company started in the field. They drank a lot before, during, and after work. As the company grew, the right business people were put into place and this practice went away. Well the owner decided it's been too long since we had a work party. Not an after work party, a work party. Twenty cases of beer were brougt in at noon. People were drunk by two. At 4:30 I was comfortably numb, surfing the web, drinking a beer and getting paid. Having only corporate jobs before this, I still can't grasp it. I'm just happy the Exchange server didn't crash.

2004-06-17T13:58:00.000-05:00

"And summer's lease hath all too short a date. "
William Shakespeare

Where did the time go? I have a 14 year old in the midst of enjoying his summer break, and it makes me pine for that two month vacation of youth. Why couldn't someone have sat me down and said, "look, these summers don't last forever. Savor every single care free minute of them. Stay up until two in the morning every night. Get up and ten. Enjoy it every bit, because once they are gone, they don't come back. You will never again experience these days unencumbered by pressure. Sure, you'll take vacations, and if your lucky, you won't start worrying about the real life traumas that await your return at least until the second day of your so called vacation. But this, you will never experience again."

But no one told me that. Instead my asshole father wondered why the hell I was sleeping all day, and why I didn't do anything he considered productive. Only with reflection do I realize that is was just jealousy that caused him to feel that way. That, and the fact that he really is an asshole.

I got home today and @ was at his computer IM'ing his friends, (God if we had IM when I was a kid I would have asked EVERY girl in school out, you never have to meet rejection face to face!) watching a movie on the TV, eating a WhatABurger Hot Apple Pie, and washing it down with a vanilla shake. Summer was never so wrapped up in a nutshell. THAT, my friends, is what it's all about. I have told him how rare this time in his life is. He doesn't understand it now. But looking back, he will. My goal is to provide him with the environment to do those "summer things" and not feel pressured to "be productive with your time". He has chores, mows the yard and has responsibilities that he takes care of. But dammit, responsibilities can wait. They'll be here soon enough.

2004-06-15T16:22:00.000-05:00

Check The Physical

I'm a Systems Administrator for a medium size company. Were big enough to have an IT department but small enough to only have one IT "guy". I'm it (no pun intended). The range of issues I deal with is literally one end of the spectrum to the other. We also have a small office in East Texas, with about 10 users that I support. I've got everything out there locked down and running smooth. The following actually happened, the names have been changed to protect the innocent. It's a transcript of an actual call. I swear.

Bacon: This is Bacon can I help you?

EastTexasBob: Yeah, we just hired a new guy and I'm trying to get the pc on the network and its not working.

Bacon: (Checks the IP Spreadsheet for an address to assign the new machine) Use this IP address and gateway, x.x.x.x and x.x.x.x

EastTexasBob: Ok it's asking to reboot.

Bacon: Ok, EastTexasBob, go ahead and reboot.

EastTexasBob: (After reboot) Still not working.

Bacon: Ok, do you have a link light on the network card?

EastTexasBob: No. Wait a sec. (The sound of clacking keys) Ok, its working now.

Bacon: Wha'd ya change?

EastTexasJim: I plugged the network cable in.

Bacon: Ok, call me if you need anything else.

So, once again that old troubleshooting adage instilled in me by my mentor Vernon, shows itself valuable once again. "First, ALWAYS check the physical..."

2004-06-14T15:59:00.000-05:00

The Smell of Aqua Velva In The Morning...

I'm one of the lucky few who has a private office at our company. It's not big, and it's not fancy, but it has a door. There are obvious benefits to an office, the main being, it's much easier to sluff off.

They have hired a new person to sit in the empty cubicle outside my office. He's about 58. He has a very distinctive odor. I have pinned it down to "old man" smell, combined with a tad too much Aqua Velva. My door is no help here. Everywhere he goes, that malodorous trail follows him. I can almost picture it, like PePe' LePew in the old Warner Brothers classics. You can go in the break room and immediately realize that approximately two minutes ago, Aqua Velva Guy was here getting coffee. Maybe it's how he marks his territory.

While at the grocery store I came across the candle section. Aha! I will neutralize Aqua Velva Guy with a sweet scented candle. Result? My office smells like a Peach Old Guy wearing too much Aqua Velva.

2004-06-13T15:09:00.000-05:00

Every Day Spent Above Ground Is a Good One

My favorite television show (besides The Simpsons, of course) had their season premier tonight on HBO. Six Feet Under began it's 4th season tonight. I had read previews that said that this season was going to be upbeat and a little less dark. Maybe after the first episode. Picking up right where they left off, there has never been a more dysfunctional family on TV than the Fischers. It's like a train-wreck, you can't look away. If you dont't watch this show, and have HBO, you really need to check it out.

I usually Tivo this show (when it comes on at 8:00) and watch it later when the family is in bed. The Tivo decided that it would record the repeat that airs on Monday night. ARghhhh!! Ive waited over a year for the return of this show! So I stayed up to catch the 11:00 airing on HBO2. Im sure i'll pay in the morning, but it was worth it.

2004-06-10T10:22:00.000-05:00

Kwik Lubed

I'm pretty technically savy when it comes to things electronic. But, mechanically, I have no clue. Especially when it comes to cars. I couldn't change the oil if you paid me to. I have always taken my car to a local oil and lube place (Kwik Kar) in my town for oil change and inspections. Recently they changed management, and it seems the service has gone downhill. Today, I was right at my 3,000 miles since my last oil change and dropped by to be serviced. I should have turned around and left when the grease lackey asked me what the name of the fourth ninja Turtle was. I looked at him like he was crazy, and he said they had a running bet. After the oil was changed, Ninja Turtle Boy asked me to come out, he needed to show me something. He had the fuel injector housing removed and ran his finger through the front of the cylinder showing me how much carbon buildup I had. Knowing that their goal is to get you to buy more than an oil change (my car only has 21,000 miles on if for crsissakes), I told him that I wasn't interested. I went in to check out, and decided to glance over the invoice. With the oil change, you get a "21 point" inspection. Tire inflation, fluids leveled, windows cleaned etc, etc. I walked out to the car, the hood was still open, and looked in the wiper fluid container. Almost empty, the windows had not been touched, the interior was not vacuumed and tires not checked. I asked Ninja Turtle Boy about this and he stated that the person that does that, was out sick. I told him, and his manager that I would only pay $19.00 since over half of the items weren't done, even though they were checked off. The manager and Ninja turtle Boy got busy finishing the checklist.

Now the kicker of this story is, while driving to work the next day, the car started idling real funny, taking too long to switch gears. Something was definitely wrong. So now I have to take time to drop it off at the dealership, get * up to take me to work etc, etc. After talking to the service rep, when Ninja Boy frigged with the fuel injector housing, he partially disconnected a throttle control chip, causing it to short. Bastards, I knew the answer was Rapheal, but I ain't telling em now.

2004-06-08T14:21:00.001-05:00

Audiobook Review #2
Deal Breaker by Harlen Coben

Those of you waiting with bated breath (yes both of you) for my next scintillating audiobook review after the first installation your wait is over. I read a book called Tell No One by Harlen Coben. It was a GREAT mystery book, a real page turner and a quick read. After checking out the authors website, I found that he previously wrote a series of novels about a Sports Agent wannabe detective named Myron Bolitar. The series of books popped up on Usenet (the last bastion of complete and unfettered copyright protection violations) and I decided to give the first of the series, Deal Breaker, a listen.

If you are an AudiobookPhile such as myself, you know how important the reader of the book is. The book can be the best thing since the Bible, but if the reader is bad, it will ruin the audio book. My initial reaction to Jonathan Marosz was negative. Didn't like his style at all. But after the first chapter it got a bit better and the story took over. Myron Bolitar is a sports agent, a former Duke University basketball star destined for the NBA until a freak knee injury ended his sports career. The book begins with Myron on the brink of signing his biggest client to a lucrative NFL contract. Christian Steele is one of the most highly touted quarterbacks to come out in recent memory. Christian receives a call from his supposedly dead fiance and the mystery unwinds from there. Is Karen really alive? If so, where is she. If she's dead, who made the call. The twisty path that is Deal Breaker kept my attention and guessing at every corner. A rich cast of characters is introduced and continue throughout the series. It was a good "read" and highly recommend it to any mystery fan. If it weren't for the new Dean Koontz audiobook, The Taking, becoming available I would have went directly to the second book, Drop Shot.

2004-06-07T17:19:00.000-05:00

Get the Funk Out
Extreme

Bizarre day. Walked around in a funk. Nothing was specifically wrong, it was just one of those days. We ate at Posada's a Tex Mex joint, where the greeter (it HAD to be her first day) asked us if we would like to sit down. Uh, now we prefer the standing section thank you very much. The meal was ok, nothing to write home about. I tried to watch TV, but lost interest in everything I tried, Monster House, CSI Miami, but just ended up saying screw it and turned it early. A regular ball of fire I am!

2004-06-06T15:05:00.000-05:00

All Due Respect...

The season finale of The Sopranos was tonight. For twelve weeks there has been a showdown brewing between the New York boss of bosses Johnny Sack and Tony. It was going to be a bloodbath, Armageddon, no one gets out alive. It never materialized. The Johnny Sack situation was solved by the FBI as one of his own ratted him out. It seemed a bit to tidy for me, the problems Tony wrapped up all nice and neat with a simple arrest. That being said, this was by far the finest season of the Soprano's yet. Hopefully they can top it in the final season next year.

2004-06-05T14:20:00.000-05:00

By Mattel (TM)

My sister has a birthday Tuesday. It got me thinking about birthday parties of my youth. You would take the invitations to school. You would invite people that you might have said hello to once. The more you invite, the more presents you get right? That was the goal. I remember one birthday specifically. It was still in elementary school, but I can't place the grade. The hot "toy" at the time was Slime by Mattel. You remember, came in a little green trashcan, and had a penchant for ruining new carpet? I wanted a can of slime. I wanted it bad. When it came time to open presents, most of the goodies in wrapping paper looked suspiciously alike. A coincidence I thought. I grabbed the first present, and tore through the paper, I had my first coveted can of Slime (by Mattel TM). Ten minutes later I opened my seventh can of Slime. It was incredible. I was on fire, never before had there been a Slime run such as my guests were witnessing, I was in the Slime zone. By the time I was through, I had eight cans of the stuff, a better birthday could not have been imagined.

2004-06-04T09:50:00.000-05:00

Screen Real Estate

Summertime in Texas brings with it the threat of severe thunderstorms. Something you get used to after 37 years. I just wish someone could tell me why its neccessary to take up 98.4% of my television screen when there are weather warnings? Scroll across the bottom when there is a warning, that's ok. No, that's not good enough, now we have to scroll across the bottom in English AND Spanish. Wouldn't want to offend anyone. Some local station executive had the bright idea of not only scrolling the warning, he decides it would be a nifty idea to superimpose a little map of the counties in the top left portion of the screen with the affected counties highlighted. Add the semitransparent Station logo in the bottom right corner and you literally have a third of your screen covered in weather warnings. Not annoying enough? Just wait until an important part of your television show, they wait for the perfect moment, and the local weather guru will pop up showing you the radar that's been in the upper left portion of your screen for the last hour telling you the same thing that has been scrolling across the bottom of your TV. What's funny is they deem it necessary to interrupt the show and warn you, for your well being, but have you ever seen a weather man interrupt a commercial? I'm just glad our best interests are in good hands at the networks.

2004-06-03T09:16:00.000-05:00

Cherrypicking a Career

The main reason that we went to the East Texas office yesterday was to take inventory of a survey company that was going out of business (which our East Texas office had a lot to do with). This company had been a fixture is this sleepy little East Texas town for 40 years and they had agreed to sell us the office. It was located in a house that was at least 70 years old. It was like visiting my grandmothers house. It had the crystal doorknobs throughout the house, the keyholes in which your stereotypical skeleton key fit and the great ceramic gas heaters in the wall. Our East Texas office manager lacks your basic people skills, lets just say tact is not in his lexicon. He paraded through the house while the owner, and his 3 employees (all of which have been employed by this company for over 20 years) watched. He would state things like, "I can't believe they still do THIS, we did THIS 10 years ago." and "wow look at this old piece of sh@#$". I tried to ignore him as is my usual custom when I'm fortunate enough to spend time with this individual, and focus on my portion of the inventory, the IT side of things. They had two PC's, lower end, a nice plotter and some software. They actually had MS-DOS in the original box. As I was going through the office, it hit me, we are sorting through a persons LIFE, his CAREER. At the end of it all, the scope of this persons life, THIS was his accomplishment. And we were unsanctimoniously going through it like a garbage pile. I quickly finished my portion of the inventory, and headed outside. It was a bit too much perspective for me.

2004-06-02T14:43:00.000-05:00

Head East Young Man

Once about every other month, I have to go out to our office in East Texas to apply the latest patches and just make sure their small network is running smooth. It's about an hour and a half drive from Dallas. I don't particularly look forward to these jaunts but it actually can break up the monotony. This trip, my boss decided to go with me, which is good, because he drives. It usually takes less time when he drives, because his BMW is a tad faster than my rice burner. On a particularly long open, empty stretch of highway, I mentioned that the fastest that I have ever gone in a car was 110 miles per hour. He promptly jumped on the accelerator and we were and 120 mph in two or three seconds. Quite exhilarating, that's for sure. It had plenty left under the hood too, but IM glad he backed down to ninety. As I said, these little trips sometimes break up the monotony.

2004-06-01T16:07:00.000-05:00

Storm of the Century

As usual my headline exaggerates a bit. But MAN did we have a storm last night. Summer time in north Texas means thunderstorms. Very common. But the one last night, was stronger than usual. No stuctural damage to the house, but our big tree in the front yard lost one of his main branches. Will have to call a "tree guy" out to fix it correctly. I need another expense like a hole in the head. The residential streets on the way to work were littered with branches and runaway trash cans. As of this morning, the news was reporting that up to 500,000 people were still without power.

2004-06-01T15:52:00.000-05:00

End of an Era

Well the 8th Grade Baseball season came to a crashing halt tonight. Not and unexpected end, but after last weeks surprise performance, there was a sliver of hope that we could have a Rocky like run through the playoffs. Offense was dead again, @ having the only hit and RBI once again. Their pitcher was so much better than any 14 year old should be. It almost wasn't fair. Our defense returned to it's normal pourous self. The coaches son (shortshop) was a bit more horrid than usual (5 errors, 0-3 at the plate). During one sequence of the game, THREE straight hits went directly between his legs. I wish I were exaggerating. So our brilliant coach (IE: Dad) finally moved him to second where he could make two more. Another fine move. Oh well. It's over. @ had his finest season at the plate ever with a .938 on base percentage getting out only twice in 12 games. Im looking forward to what he can do at the high school level with some good coaches. But you've heard that line already.

2004-05-29T00:48:00.000-05:00

Morning Pomp and Circumstance

The "do absolutely nothing" three day weekend ran into some trouble today. It started out with attending our friends daughters graduation. At NINE AM!! Graduation, at nine AM in the morning? Isn't that crazy? I halfway expected to overhear one of the students say "hey man, what do you want to do after graduation? Hit the Waffle House or go back to bed?" The graduation in question was my old high school. It was held at Reunion Areana, former home of the Dallas Mavericks and Dallas Stars, the same place mine was held in 1985. Nineteen years ago, I was down on the arena floor awaiting my piece of paper verifying twelve years of hard labor, wondering what the future was holding for me. Well, I'm still here, healthy, can keep a roof over my head, not in debt up to my eyeballs, and have a family that loves me. I don't know if you can ask for much more.

After the graduation we were invited for lunch at Campesi's. A long time Dallas favorite. It gained nationwide fame when Major League Baseball umpire Steve Polermo tried to break up an assault and robbery in the parking lot and took a bullet to the spinal cord. The lunch was good and free, a nice twosome. Chicken Parmesian with Fettuchini Alfredo and enough garlic to ward off vampires for the next 72 years.

2004-05-28T22:36:00.000-05:00

Cartoon Cartograpahy

My favorite show on televison is The Simpsons. The show has been on the air for fifteen years and still is consistently the funniest show on the tube. SlashDot had a link to a "fan created" map of Springfield. It's good way to pass a couple of hours. Give Fox's reaction to unauthorized material, you might want to download a copy while you can.

2004-05-28T22:25:00.000-05:00

White Trash Beautiful

On Fridays, six of us at work grill lunch in the back parking lot. The company actually bought us a grill for our club. We call it White Trash Friday. When it's your turn to cook that week, you buy the whole meal and cook. The other five weeks, you eat free. The menu, actually far from "white trash", regularly includes Ribeye Steaks, Butterflied Porkchops, Grilled Quail, Shish-K-bobs and other fine delicacies. It's a nice way to end the week. This week it was my turn to cook, and I broke my normal Ribeye tradition, and settled for Hot Dogs and Burgers. The best thing about WTF, is EVERYONE can smell the grill when it fires up and people always file by the break room, wondering what fine meal we have prepared. Some even try to trade their frozen dinner for a plate of food. I think not.

2004-05-27T18:35:00.000-05:00

Arwyn is outta here!

Actually got in the mood to scan a comic tonight. Sojourn #34. The final issue of the comic, that basically drug me back into the hobby. Greg Lands art (sadly not in this issue) is so far above and beyond whats on the shelves now it's not even funny. And for Crossgen to cancel their highest selling book, well that just tells you how bad they were on the business side of things. Rumor has it they will be out of business mid June at the latest. Talk about your rags to riches to rags story. A damn shame.

2004-05-26T09:09:00.000-05:00

"Boooooring"
Homer Simpson

A rather blaise day as such things go. Not much, if anything worth writing about. Work went by at the speed of a glacier. I guess the prospect of having a three day holiday this weekend slows things down to a crawl.

Fantasia wins American Idol. Wooop Te Do. Best singer won, no shock there. Now, all you people screaming racism, please go crawl back into your mossy caves now.

2004-05-25T09:49:00.000-05:00

"Do you believe in miracles? Yesssss!!"
Al Michaels

The little league playoffs began tonight. For some crazy reason, all eight teams make the playoffs. On Sunday, if your a loyal reader (both of you), you'll recall the spanking they received. As luck would have it, us being the eighth seed we get to play the number one seed, one of the teams that killed us Sunday. This would be a fitting end to a dismal season.

But a funny thing happened. Being the visiting team, we batted first and scored two runs. Those two runs had an amazing effect on the team. They realized that they aren't as bad as they have been playing. They realized they could play with these guys. That confidence actually transferred defensively as we cut down on our errors and and played a back and forth game. In little league, you never make it to nine innings so the two hour time limit usually comes into play. When we hit the two hour mark, the other team was batting and the score was tied at 12. This meant, if they score a run, they win. Don't score, we go to extra "time".
They had the bases loaded and two outs, the batter hit a little flare over second base and the second baseman made a nice catch to keep it tied.

Extra time has special rules. You start the inning with a runner already on second base and each batter enters the box with a 2-1 count. Their pitcher picked a bad time to get wild as we scored 6 runs 4 on errors or wild pitches. Now hold them to 5 or less an we knock out the number one seed in the playoffs. The first batter popped out to the first basemen. Second batter struck out, and the third jacked one DEEP to center field but right at the center fielder to bring the game to a close. The kids went nuts. They had forgotten how much fun it was to win. The other team looked like a boxer that had just gotten up from a flash knockdown, awake and aware, but not believing what just happened. Will they win the next game? Probably not. But this was one of those special moments where they came together and played as a team and did something they hadn't done in a LOOOONG time. Actually have some fun.

@ went 5 for 5, one single, three doubles and a triple with 6 RBI. He is 14 for his last 14 and on fire. I told him to enjoy, because streaks this hot don't come around too often.

2004-05-24T07:37:00.000-05:00

Paranoia
By Joseph Finder

Ah, welcome to book (audio) review #1. I don't care what the experts say, listening to an audiobook, is almost, as good as reading the text yourself. And with the amount of free time I have, it's better than the alternative, which is don't read OR listen.

Adam Cassidy is your above average slacker. A junior product line manager for routers at Wyatt telecom. He hates his job, spending the day doing just enough to not get fired. A great bullshit artist, Adam hatches a scheme to divert corporate money in a fund to throw a lavish party (ice sculptures and all) for a retiring dock worker, who wouldn't have even gotten a thank you, if it weren't for Adams party. Adam fully expects to get caught and fired. He does not expect to get caught and threatened with embezzlement and Corporate Espionage, a felony with guaranteed prison time. To his surprise he is made and offer by the Nick Wyatt, the arrogant and ruthless CEO of Wyatt Telecom. Take a job at Wyatt's rival competition, Trion Systems. Integrate into Trions corporate culture and seek out a find information on "The Auroroa" Project. A project that is rumored to so revolutionary it will change the world. Wyatt wants it. And Adam has no choice but to accept.

Adam is given a fake resume, and spends weeks in training on how to look and act like a young corporate superstar on the fast track to success. Trion, seeing the opportunity to steal one of Wyatts young guns, hires Adam immediately. A triple digit salary follows. Trion leases him and new Porsche 911 and pays for his 2000 square foot apartment. Adam begins to use the techniques and tools taught to him by Wyatts security experts. And he's getting results, Wyatt is pleased with his progress.

But a funny thing happens to Adam. He discovers that he's not faking his performance. Putting in long hours to make himself seem legit to his new Trion peers, he realizes that he has always had the power to be successful. His newfound self confidence gets him noticed by the CEO of Trion, Augustine "Jock" Goddard. Goddard is so impressed with his initial work, he creates a position for him. Executive assistant to the CEO. Adam's transformation to a hard working, honest individual is accelerated by his new boss trust, something he never received from his own father. Adam has found his niche. He realizes that he can no longer betray Goddard. He decides its time to break the Wyatt puppet strings. To say anymore would give away the ending. This one had me completely wrapped up. If you can, check it out. You won't be sorry.

2004-05-23T08:46:00.000-05:00

"The Play is at third!"
Local Baseball "coach"

You've seen my ramblings about @'s baseball team, a bunch of good talented kids, with absolutely no help from their coach. The coaches son plays shortstop. If such records were kept, we surely would hold the record for Worst Fielding Percentage By a Shortshop in the History of All Man Kind. But, since he's the coaches son, the errors continued mount. @ pitched the second game of a double header today. He gave up 13 runs. TEN OF THEM UNEARNED!!!!! He only gave up only four hits that were not a grounder, he had absolutely no help from his "defense". I swear I'm not one of these crazy sports parents that lives their lives vicariously through their son. It's just frustrating to see these kids underachieve because of the coach. Think I'm being a bit harsh? We're in the field. The other team has a player at third and one out. The coach yells: "be ready infield, the play is at third!". I need not go on.

We have somehow made the playoffs at 4-8. That game is Tuesday. After that days entry, any baseball missives should be cheerier. I hear high schools have great coaches.

2004-05-22T09:39:00.000-05:00

"I Got a Fever. And The Only Prescription is More Cowbell!"
Legendary Record Producer, Bruce Dickinson

The Perfect Saturday. I'm such a homebody, a hermit almost. I'm most comfortable at home. I feel sorry for *, it's got to drive her crazy now and then. My list of accomplishments today included the following: Sleep late, take a nap, surf the web, download comics, hang out on IRC, watch HBO Boxing (I STILL can't believe Roy Jones Jr. got knocked OUT!) and stayed up way too late. I wonder what my thoughts on the entry would be if I could have time traveled at 21 to read this entry in the future. I do know my definition of Perfect was a tad different back then.

2004-05-21T00:30:00.000-05:00

Gettin' The Hell Outta Dodge

Middle school graduation was tonight. @ was really pumped. Not at graduating 8th grade, but finally leaving SPX. Grades 1-6 at the Catholic school were fine. The last 2 years, though were a royal pain in the ass. The teachers have been there too long are underpaid and had lost interest in guiding these kids. I think I was as happy as he was after the ceremony. I won't miss dealing with those people at all. Right before we left, I told him it was time for us to give him his present. We had gotten him a cel phone but I want to string him along a bit. On Tuesday when we switched plans both * and myself got new phones also. That night, we were showing off the features of the new phones to him. He played along, acting like he was happy for us, all the while wanting his own I'm sure. I purchase a belt clip for my phone and his. I put the clip in a bag and wrapped it for him. When he opened it, there was a look of "what the hell". I told him that he could use the clip when ever he borrowed my phone. He feigned thanks and kept waiting for me to tell him where the rest of his present was. I could only hold off about another minute before I gave in.

2004-05-20T11:52:00.000-05:00

"The music does the talkin' says the things you want to hear"
Triumph - Magic Power

The other day, while browsing the Netflix site for movies to add to my queue, I found out that Triumph (probably my second favorite band) has released a concert DVD, A Night of Triumph Live. It was shot it 1987, just as the band was reaching their pinnacle of popularity and success. It arrived today. Couldn't WAIT to pop it in and crank the surround sound. Wow, what a disappointment. The music was great, the band was tight, but GOOD GOD MAN, whoever directed this ought to be shot. When I watch a concert or concert video, I would kinna like to see the band every now and then, not a shot of the mullet headed masses every 5 seconds. It was amazing. I actually stopped the DVD when, during Midsummer's Daydream (a GREAT little acoustical piece), the camera was BEHIND Rik. Nah, I don't want to see that amazingly fast fret run from one end of the guitar to the other, thanks anyway. I guess, I need to do as my wife says, and get outta the 80's. Someone will have to drag me though.

2004-05-20T11:14:00.000-05:00

Internal Audit

The very first entry in the Time Cannon dealt with my haveing acute prostatitis. That entry, (and this one perhaps) will never be enshrined in the Blog Hall of Fame for Outstanding Entry In a Personal Blog, and surely falls into the category of Way Too Much Information (tm). But, as a major trauma in my life it must be noted. The first time I went to the doctor (my birthday, thank you very much) I had no clue that I was going to have THE EXAM. So when he told me what he was about to do, I didn't really have too much time to worry about it. The checkup was today. I knew that I would have to have THE EXAM. Not knowing you are going to get THE EXAM, is much better than knowing your are going to get THE EXAM. I can tell you that personally. The report was good, all seems to be well, and we won't have to revisit that particular area until I turn 40. Another positive that came from this is a pretty fun website I stumbled across while looking for one of my patented "witty" entry titles. It's not for everyone, but I found it funny, enter at your own risk.

2004-05-20T10:52:00.000-05:00

"Little League baseball is a very good thing because it keeps the parents off the streets."
Yogi Berra

The Little League season is winding down to a close and it couldn't come any sooner. I know it's all for fun, but the absolute and utter lack of coaching is about to wear me down. With the talent level of these kids, we should not be as bad as we are. To call our team the Bad News Bears would be an insult to the Bad News Bears. To be fair they faced a hell of a pitcher, I mean this kid could bring it. He held us to one hit (@ had it, a little seeing eye grounder between first and second, that plated our only two runs). But the defense was horrible as usual, with just about everyone contributing to the error-fest. Add to that the incredulous coaching descions and you have the recepie for a 14-2 rout. One example of coaching prowess encapsulated our entire baseball carreer under this guy. Our main pitcher, complained that his arm was hurting. When a young kid, who has been over-pitched by this coach already, complains of arm trouble, you get him off the mound. So what does the coach do, moves him to catcher. Hello, if your arm is hurting, how about a position where you don't have to throw the ball every pitch? Oh well, finally on to High School ball, where @ will get some actual coaching and people play positions because of their talent, not because of their blood relations to the coach. At least I'm not bitter about it.

2004-05-19T08:46:00.000-05:00

Mooooove
Jimmy Falon as Nick Burns, The Computer Guy

My rant a couple of days ago against "computer idiots" has come back to haunt me. About once a week someone will ask me if I can look at their computer to take the latest virus off or get rid of their extensive spyware. If it's slow at the office, I don't mind doing it. Today, the owner of the company brings me THREE pc's he wants "upgraded". The first two are Pentium ONE 100's!!! The other was a decent AMD, a newer machine. When I tell him that you can't upgrade the P1 machines (both motherboards only support 100mzh chips) he gave me a look that made me think it was MY fault. What kills me, is this guy has money, and instead of spending 400 bucks to get a decent machine, he wants to upgrade a machine thats over 10 years old. I finally talk him into ordering a new machine. The parts arrive from NewEgg tomorrow.

Now for the Cherry on top of my Wednesday, the CFO of the company has satellite internet. It's always going down. And Im always making a trip out to his house to troubleshoot it. Usually he's gotten in and changed a setting that he has no business playing with. I then ask him, "ok what did you change last?" and get the standard "not a thing" only to find that he deleted TCP/IP from his network connection. Today was different, it was actually a software issue. Ended up re-installing the satellite client and all was good.

2004-05-18T16:56:00.000-05:00

Adventure's Waiting Just Ahead!!

When I arrived home from work yesterday, a late birthday present had appeared on the kitchen table. It was the Limited Collector Edition of Speed Racer Volume 2. Does she know me or what...

2004-05-18T15:45:00.000-05:00

Kill Bill

@ graduates from Middle School Friday. Yeah, I said graduates. Kids theses days, they have kindergarten graduation, middle school graduation, high school graduation and on and on. He has been hounding me to get him a cel phone for about 2 years now. I have adamantly refused, playing the responsibility card. The more I though about it, the more I decided that I would get him one for graduation. Maybe it will instill some reponsibilty in him. So I trekked over to the local AT&T Wireless store to see what kind of plan I could work out. Looks like it was a good time to buy. My current 2 line plan (analog) ran $62 per month. What I ended up getting, was upgraded to the new GSM network and adding a third line. Upgrade to GSM, means three new free phones, 200 more minutes and free nights and weekends for $59 per month. Add a line get 3 new phones, more minutes and pay less. A rare win for the consumer. Hopefully I wont be posting any "I took away @'s cel phone" entries in the near future.

2004-05-18T15:39:00.000-05:00

"Rock N Roll 'Aint Noise Pollution"
AC/DC

A sad day in Dallas Radio history today. KEGL, a long time rock fixture has switched formats. No matter your taste in music, you should be sad. The demise of the medium by way of "Corporate Radio" is almost complete. I find it ironic when the word monopoly is thrown around, Microsoft immediately comes to mind. ClearChannel is worse in my opinion. They are almost singlehandedly responsible for the generic playlists that float through the airwaves today. Now Dallas (the fifth largest advertising market) is left without a true rock station. Like we need more syrupy stations playing Billy Joel and Barbera Streisand. Sure there are a couple of classic rock stations, an alternative rock station, neither of which will fill the hole KEGL did. If you know me, you know what type of music I like. Good 'ol 3 chord blues influenced rock n roll. Thats it. I have severe tunnel vision when it comes to the type of music that I prefer. I lot of summer nights were spent cruisin around with the Eagle on. Oh, well, more time for audiobooks I guess...

2004-05-17T14:05:00.000-05:00

My First Comment!

Woo Hoo! Received my first comment on the blog yesterday (Thanks Kelley). I started this thing just a an outlet to jot stuff down for myself. It's cool to know someone else actually reads it. Boring as it may be. So, don't be shy, lemme hear from ya!