Time Cannon

By Mattel (TM)

My sister has a birthday Tuesday. It got me thinking about birthday parties of my youth. You would take the invitations to school. You would invite people that you might have said hello to once. The more you invite, the more presents you get right? That was the goal. I remember one birthday specifically. It was still in elementary school, but I can't place the grade. The hot "toy" at the time was Slime by Mattel. You remember, came in a little green trashcan, and had a penchant for ruining new carpet? I wanted a can of slime. I wanted it bad. When it came time to open presents, most of the goodies in wrapping paper looked suspiciously alike. A coincidence I thought. I grabbed the first present, and tore through the paper, I had my first coveted can of Slime (by Mattel TM). Ten minutes later I opened my seventh can of Slime. It was incredible. I was on fire, never before had there been a Slime run such as my guests were witnessing, I was in the Slime zone. By the time I was through, I had eight cans of the stuff, a better birthday could not have been imagined.

Comments

mlgrant said…

I had to have some slime and I was 17!!

My boyfriend bought me a can. I didn't put the top on good and it got kicked under my bed. The same carpet is still in my old bedroom and it still feels a little bit crusty.

8:18 AM

Popular posts from this blog

Ralphing Kisses After reading my buddy Escapes post about his faithful dog Maynard, it seems a good time for a dog story. The day before Christmas Eve, we had decided to go out to eat. I had started gathering the candy that I was going to put in the stockings and had left it on the corner of the end table out of site. Or so I thought. When we returned from dinner, I notice little bits of what looked like aluminum foil around the house. I followed the trail until it ended directly under the Christmas tree. There sat an empty bag ( a ONE pound bag mind you) of Hershey Kisses. Shaye the Weenie dog, well into her 10th year had eaten a pound of chocolate in our absence. She was also nowhere to be seen. Anytime we return to the house and she didn’t greet you at the door wagging her tail is a bad sign. It usually meant she did something she knew she would get in trouble for and was firmly entrenched under the back corner of the bed, her favorite hiding spot. She was there,

" And summer's lease hath all too short a date. " William Shakespeare Where did the time go? I have a 14 year old in the midst of enjoying his summer break, and it makes me pine for that two month vacation of youth. Why couldn't someone have sat me down and said, "look, these summers don't last forever. Savor every single care free minute of them. Stay up until two in the morning every night. Get up and ten. Enjoy it every bit, because once they are gone, they don't come back. You will never again experience these days unencumbered by pressure. Sure, you'll take vacations, and if your lucky, you won't start worrying about the real life traumas that await your return at least until the second day of your so called vacation. But this, you will never experience again." But no one told me that. Instead my asshole father wondered why the hell I was sleeping all day, and why I didn't do anything he considered productive. Only wi

Football Isn't a Contact Sport, It's a Collision Sport... Duffy Daugherty In my book, the start of the NFL season should be a national holiday. The previous Friday and the following Monday should be free of work, all focus should be allowed on the game. I'm serious. Even the wife, who, bless her heart, knows how much football season means to me, had the Chili going before kickoff. The chips and dip set out and the beverages were extra chilled. During the NFL season, my Sunday consists of the following: Get up at 10:00am and start watching the ESPN Gameday. Fire up the wireless laptop and get connected to DirecTV's Game Tracker. This in conjunction with DirecTV's NFL Sunday ticket package is the ultimate way to watch the games. 11:30 fire up the lunch for the game (Frito Pie, Chili, Brats, etc., etc). 12:00, settle in for the next NINE hours of gridiron action. Am I sick? Probably. Do I care. Not a bit, ya only get 17 weeks of it, so I savor it all.