Time Cannon

We Can Improve Your IT Service At Half The Cost
Local Outsourcing Telemarketing Moron

I got an interesting phone call today. A person from Global Pardigm Solutions asked how I was doing. When my '90s Corporate Buzzword meter exploded at the sound of that ridiculous company name, I should have went ahead and hung up. But I'm a glutton for punishment. He began his speil, not letting me get a word in. He explained to me how he and his company can end our IT woes by outsourcing all the technical functions for one low cost. Heck they'd even run our Email server for us. When he finished I asked him if he knew what I did. He said that he knew we were in the Land Survey business. I then told him that I was the person he was trying to replace. After a few stammering words he attempted to backtrack. A fella named Mike could swing by the office and have a ten minute meet and greet. I have found that on sales calls, the best way to get back at them is to let them think that your really interested, string them along a bit, then at the last minute, bail. So I played along, setting up a meeting for Monday morning. As I was about to hang up, I asked him Mike's last name. Another stammer. This guy didn't know the last name of the guy he was going to send over to take my job. Amazing. Should I cancel the meeting an hour before? Or is that giving them too much warning?

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

"..for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself." Jessamyn West I have raised a retard. I swear to God, the things he says and thought processes that flow through his brain never cease to amaze me. Early on in this Blog, I promoted the idea of trying to give your kids more than you had. Don't force them to work during their early high school years and instead let them enjoy their summers unencumbered. As that dickhead Dr. Phil says, " how'd that work out for ya?" I have ended up with an unappreciative individual that is not even remotely ready for the real world. What a slap in the face that will be, standing on his own two feet. I know, I know, I reap what I sow, but that what blog is for isn't it, anonymous venting?? His outrageously expensive school, has a relatively relaxed cel phone policy. You can have you phone, and actually use it in between classes. Just don't use it during class. Kinna obvious don't you think? He come

Ralphing Kisses After reading my buddy Escapes post about his faithful dog Maynard, it seems a good time for a dog story. The day before Christmas Eve, we had decided to go out to eat. I had started gathering the candy that I was going to put in the stockings and had left it on the corner of the end table out of site. Or so I thought. When we returned from dinner, I notice little bits of what looked like aluminum foil around the house. I followed the trail until it ended directly under the Christmas tree. There sat an empty bag ( a ONE pound bag mind you) of Hershey Kisses. Shaye the Weenie dog, well into her 10th year had eaten a pound of chocolate in our absence. She was also nowhere to be seen. Anytime we return to the house and she didn’t greet you at the door wagging her tail is a bad sign. It usually meant she did something she knew she would get in trouble for and was firmly entrenched under the back corner of the bed, her favorite hiding spot. She was there,

" And summer's lease hath all too short a date. " William Shakespeare Where did the time go? I have a 14 year old in the midst of enjoying his summer break, and it makes me pine for that two month vacation of youth. Why couldn't someone have sat me down and said, "look, these summers don't last forever. Savor every single care free minute of them. Stay up until two in the morning every night. Get up and ten. Enjoy it every bit, because once they are gone, they don't come back. You will never again experience these days unencumbered by pressure. Sure, you'll take vacations, and if your lucky, you won't start worrying about the real life traumas that await your return at least until the second day of your so called vacation. But this, you will never experience again." But no one told me that. Instead my asshole father wondered why the hell I was sleeping all day, and why I didn't do anything he considered productive. Only wi